You may remember this bike. Sadly it didn't work out. I'm still a newbie when it comes to riding, and that style of handlebars is too hard for me. I can't get the hang of it to save my life. I'm sure with enough time I could get it, but our tiny garage is super crowded. One bike had to go, and getting rid of the bike I actually can ride makes no sense. So it's time to say goodbye to the green Schwinn. That's where craigslist comes in.
I have yet to sell the bike, but have had some very friendly people email and express interest. They were so nice, so polite, and are hopefully coming to check out the bike soon. Today I checked my email and saw another message about the bike. I was initially excited, thinking another potential buyer. But nooo. Instead, I get this charming message from a Mr. Superfly Jones:
For someone that just learned to ride you sure have a lot of bikes in the background
of your picture. What else are you hiding and lying about? Do you remember its a
1974 model because that was the year you stole it from the original owner,
or perhaps that was the year you committed your first homicide and that was
the bike you rode to do so? My friend this world is full of craziness and
you can hardly find homemade Bacon anywhere. This countries deficit is
on the verge of an emotional break down and just last week I left my garage
open and someone stole a tennis racket and a full scale model of a metronome.
Jesus shall walk this earth again one day and that will be the day our lord and father
call home his flock of sheep to take the out of the fields of the prairie and into the clouds of heaven.
Seriously? Simply because there are other bikes in the background of the picture, I must be a liar? A thief? A murderer? I'm sorry someone stole things out of his garage, but that's no reason to accuse me of the same lowly act. And how on earth does knowing the year a bike was manufactured connect with committing a homicide? I didn't know that was the method to find out the bike's year. Silly old me just checked the serial number at an online Schwinn database...
I don't know why receiving this upset me so much. I know I should just shrug it off, because there's obviously something not right in this person's mind. But it did bother me. I've never been accused of being a homicidal thief before.
So for now, all I can do is delete Mr. Superfly Jones' email, and pray that I never hear from him again.